Growing Pains
by Rae'vyn Phiar
Summary: Roxas returns from a mission in a lot of pain and Axel tries his best to comfort him. A bit of banter on the sexual nature, and then the mood changes abruptly. Thanks for reading, reviewing, faving, and following!
1. Chapter 1

_I've written way too much smut lately. And I've also found good writing music, so I wrote a lovely angsty/fluffy one this time! Hope you enjoy! Please fav, follow, and review! Every Review helps for new content! Thanks for reading this!_

_Rated M for a hot bout of kissing and suggestive content. Also; mental shit._

**AkuRoku – Growing Pains**

"_Ow_…" Roxas groaned as he poked at a bruise that was already deep purple on his arm. He'd really been off his game today, and he'd been assailed left and right, even from _below_, by the Heartless. Unfortunately, the bruising was extensive, painful, and left aches running throughout him with every single step up the stairs. He was too tired to try to concentrate on portaling to his room, his only focus on clinging to the railing with his hands cramping up.

"What's with you?" A tall, slender figure, his wild crimson spikes flying in all directions, breezed past him, hands in his pockets. He turned to the teen a few steps above the blonde, smiling brightly at the disgruntled frown that the teen wore. "You just got back? How was your first solo mission?"

"It _sucked_…" He winced a little as he took another step and placed his weight on that leg. "I think Saїx hates me or something… Did I do something to make him hate me?"

The smile only became wider as the elder reached down and grabbed his bruised shoulder, supporting the hurting boy up the rest of the long flight of stairs. "He does tend to hate a lot of people. Or at least be shitty with them." He narrowed his gaze, giving him a decidedly fierce look, as he reached across and lightly tapped the tip of the blonde's nose. "Well, you _were_ the one who wouldn't shut up last ni-"

"Shut up, Axel." His blush touched his ears, painting them red. Axel only laughed, clear and bright. "I swear; I'm not too tired to shove a keyblade or two down your throat."

"You're so _cute_ when you get embarrassed!" The blonde raised an eyebrow at that, his fingers cramping up when he tried to open his door. He ended up having the redhead open the white door, and allowed him to shut it behind them as he flopped on his bed, not noticing his hardcover diary on his sheets until it jabbed into his stomach.

He rolled over immediately, clutching his torso with another groan and nearly throwing up.

"Okay. You're gonna puke." The elder man sat next to him, placing a trash can at his feet. Wrapping an arm around his shoulder, the redhead pulled the blonde teen into his side, seeing the sharp glint of painful tears in his eyes. Roxas laid the locked book on his bedside table, hoping that the redhead wouldn't notice. He didn't, having only eyes for him.

"Ow… Shoulder…" The fire-wielder loosened his grip, wrapping his other arm lightly about the younger teen's waist. "Just…" The cringe reached his blue eyes, making their color ever brighter past the film of tears. Axel relinquished his grip, choosing, for the comfort of both of them, to just barely touch the younger, his hold on his shoulder and waist barely existent.

"I didn't know. Sorry."

Roxas shook his head, leaning into his side. "No. I'm just fragile as hell." He saw the twitch of the elder's lips turn up in a smile. "You should know this…" He immediately regretted his words as the red-hot blush spread across his nose and the elder's piercing eyes gazed down at him knowingly. He knew in what context the man would take the phrase.

"So true… Every time you end up hurting more than helping."

"Which one of us; you or me?"

"_You_, idiot. You're always limping afterwards."

"It's always your fault though…"

The redhead laughed, hoping that the teen in his arms wasn't hurting when he moved closer. "True. Sorry 'bout that, Roxy."

"Didn't I tell you _not_ to call me that?" Horror spread across his gaze, and his face only became redder and redder. He turned into the elder's shoulder to bury the crimson skin in the black fabric. "You always call me that."

"Well, the _adorably_ sexy voice you put on is payback. You basically beg and whine for me to-"

"Oh my God! Shut up." Roxas was practically sitting in his lap, his hands at the back of the man's neck. He was smiling past the embarrassment, no sign of pain eminent on his face other than a distant look in the edge of his eyes.

"Make me." The voice was a challenge; a command as well as a plea.

The bright blue eyes drifted to the door, the sheets, the small white book, then slowly, ever so slowly, back to meet their emerald counterpart. They were somber, confused, as if the person behind them wasn't sure of what to say or do.

_'I'm still hurting, Axel. My suffering will only be worse if...'_

_'I don't care, Roxas… if you throw all your pain onto me to find relief somewhere…'_

"Please?" The one word was spoken in unison, both of their mouths moving at the same time. The inflection was the same: pleading and lust. It was the one word that shook both to their cores. Where an emotional heart should've thrown it away, the emptiness inside ate it up, needing more of this strange emotion for their famished beasts' hunger inside that lusted after the other Nobody to be satisfied.

The elder's gaze turned from solid understanding into white-hot emotion in mere moments after speaking, brushing the teen's bruised and cracked lips with his own.

The light touch reignited the fires in the split tissue, but the softness and the care that Axel took in the action was something that Roxas was grateful for. He was being as careful and as gentle as possible, trying to give him the comfort for the pains that he was suffering from at the time.

Suddenly, the teen pulled away, holding a hand to his lip for a second. "Ow…" He showed the darker blot on his sleeve and the slight reddish tinge to his mouth. "You made me bleed again…" When the elder moved to kiss him again, he pressed a finger to his lips. "Just give me a second…"

"Okay…" And so the redhead waited, the body pressed against his so tiny, so broken. The warmth, however, was boundless. It knew no end, and he held that broken form to his chest for as long as the teen took, surprised when he looked at him for a split second and returned to his lips.

The crushing force that the blonde drew forth broke another of the marks, but he paid it no mind. All he wanted was to feel safe, normal, again. And he knew that Axel was one of the things that made it possible for him to feel. And he was also the quickest option, even though sometimes it did hurt for a while later.

Roxas soon felt the cool white sheets crumple under his aching back, the fiery touch of the redhead the one thing that he knew at that point, the only thing he wanted. Besides, the heat from the warming elder eased some of the deep-rooted pain within.

But when the redhead bent down to kiss the slope of his neck, he placed a hand on his cheek. "No… That's not what I want…anymore…" Axel moved to the side, lying on his back next to the blonde, clasping his arms around the tiny frame.

"Then what do you want…?" His voice sounded letdown, like he was sad that the teen hadn't wanted more.

"I just want…" Roxas thought for a second, feeling the tears of both physical and emotional pain brim over his eyes. "I want… comfort from-" His voice faltered as the redhead finished his thought for him, his fingers tracing the places where the pain-fire blazed brightest.

"From your pain…" Axel drew him closer and felt the teen shake in his tears. "You want me to stay?" The teen's voice wasn't going to be heard past the lump in his throat, so he nodded instead. "Do you want to cry?" He nodded again. His tone was reassuring as he drew him ever closer to his chest. "Then go ahead… I'm not ashamed…"

But it still hurt him, cutting up the part of himself he lacked as the tears ran down the blonde's face, hearing the whimpers of pain float from his lips. Nothing was as terrible as hearing the bitter, anguished cries of the one he loved. It made his blood boil, wanting to do naught but destroy all that made him cry and cause him pain.

In time, however, the tears subsided, the tight grip on his coat lessened, and he quietly lay in his arms, gazing up at him with a look of both love and understanding hidden in the recesses of his eyes.

"What?"

"It's strange…"

"What's strange?"

"That nothing scares you. You don't run from anything, Axel. You always fight. I'm the weak one. I run away…" That was a lie. The redhead was afraid of a lot of things.

"You're not weak. Don't say that."

"…Okay…" He yawned. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

_Due to a lovely review from kckur, I'm writing a second chapter. This was intended to be a one-shot, but this person allowed me to explore the possibility of the 'fear' that Axel mentions near the end of the story. I'm continuing on that front. Mwahahha. The joys of being a fanfic author._

_By the way, the fears that I have Axel own up to are __**not**__ canon to my knowledge. This is all based my knowledge of his character and his personality. Sorry if you don't like it because of that. _

_I looked everywhere for a decent pic of Axel's eyes, and I found out his eyelashes are __**black**__. Don't doubt the massive amount of research I do to be somewhat canon in both cosplay (I cosplay Axel. Hell yea!) and in fanfic!_

_Also, I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Rated M for __**TOO. MANY. FEELS!**_

**AkuRoku – Growing Pains – Chapter 2**

The warm golden light that bathed this place forever was blocked from the redhead's gaze by an arm he raised over his eyes. The warmth that surrounded the black-swathed Axel was much like his fire, but slower, lingering far longer even as he moved.

He lay down on his back, at the ledge in front of the giant face of the clock tower, in the realm of Twilight Town. The heavy stone at his back was slightly jagged, biting into the soft fabric of his coat and leaving small scratches that he didn't care for, nor did he pay attention.

Those innocent twin sapphires bore at him in his mind. '_You don't run from anything, Axel...'_ The real man clenched his jaw unconsciously, his teeth creaking before he opened his eyes to the eternal sunset. The vivid pinks and lavenders were streaked with his beloved red, but this time it didn't seem like the sky. It looked like blood. The blood that had marred the lips of the teen, his fingers coated with a thin film of the vibrant crimson liquid...

Axel retched and sat up for a second, trying to keep his mind and body under his control.

_'I'm the weak one. I run away...'_ Roxas' words from that time ago seemed so true coming from the broken and bruised form, the tiny child who clung to him like he was the thread of life that would stop the effects of death...

Like he was the heart that would finally make himself whole again...

The redhead felt the rage and sorrow and pity grow in intensity until he finally screamed into the sky, releasing that hollow emotion in one, throat-shredding shriek. Then he collapsed against the cool stone, brick, and mortar of the tower like a rag doll, his body failing him as his mind descended into thought.

Roxas was wrong. He feared many things. Most of them were trivial, like hurting himself or spiders. But many were so deeply rooted within that it was hard to bring them into focus. He tried not to think too hard on any one fear for a long time, or he believed he'd grow as mad as Vexen... But it was hard not to dwell on the fact that these were what he dreaded on a daily basis...

One of them was loneliness. He hated being alone, and the strange attachment he'd had with Saїx had long faded away, so he assumed. His tie to Roxas was strong, as strong as anyone could ever find it within themselves to bind, but it still had its flaws in his other fears.

A great anxiety he had was his volatile mind and emotions. He was so much like his flame; with one gust of wind, a single word or action, he'd be ready to attack. In an instant, the fire-wielder knew that he could break apart any bond he had with the people close to him.

The fear of inadequacy, paired with the horrifying terror of rejection, haunted him in every moment he was with Roxas. He'd never had anything like what he had with the teen, and he always felt like, one day, he'd do something to piss him off so much that the blonde would reject him... cast him off for ever how long he had left...

The redhead felt the light tremor of footsteps through the rock and sat up, drawing the edge of his hood over his eyes as he quickly wiped away the bitter, angry tears that were threatening to spill over the edges of his black lashes. When he lowered the hood, he saw that a small Nobody sat next to him, his dazzling blue eyes looking ten times brighter in the reddish light from above.

"Hey, are you okay?" He couldn't stop himself, and wouldn't even if he could. The next thing Roxas knew, he was tightly in the embrace of the elder, struggling to catch a draw of breath in the redhead's arms.

Axel tried to find words, but they escaped him, leaving him to only hold one of the few people in his life that he... that he actually... His train of thought left him, finding no words fitting to express how much he loved his person. His voice didn't obey him, leaving him to only admire this child within his arms.

"Hey... What's wrong...?" That still-small voice erased all mention of thoughts within the redhead's mind, leaving him but a fragment of his former mind before he relaxed the grip he had on the blonde. A stab of longing hit him hard in the center of his chest when he glanced into Roxas' eyes.

They were devoid of hate, of worry; struggles and pain. It was as if all the fears and weakness had been washed away from him in this everlasting moment. Then they turned into curved sapphire mirrors, giving him a warped reflection of his face, of his own slightly red eyes.

A pale hand reached from behind him and touched the side of his face. The kind motion was so commonplace between the two, but to the redhead, it was in its simplicity that he found the words to say what he wanted.

"I... I have fears... Fears that I will fail, that I will hurt the... the people around me..." He looked past the teen for a second, calming and collecting himself before he whispered the words he'd wanted to say for so long, but never had the will to say. "I don't want to be alone. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to be inadequate, or be unable to satisfy your... your _desires_..."

A faint streak of pink lit up the teen's face, his eyes confused and filling with emotion that the neither of them could place, but Axel had no more words to say to him. Roxas' thumb lightly ran down the hard edge of his cheekbone as he thought, which only make the redhead regret his words more than he already did.

_'I'm an idiot...'_ he thought, but at that moment, the blonde reached up, gripping the back of his neck, rose above him, and brought his mouth to his own, catching the fire-wielder in surprise.

Axel had expected a ridiculing word, a scolding, a punch in the face at worst. Anything but this... His mouth was soft against his, loving, forgiving... He wished that they could stay here forever, locked in each other's embrace, but the kiss ended too soon. When the teen moved back, he looked down at the brick and the stone, as if to collect himself. Then he trapped the elder's gaze in his own and spoke.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't understand." He smiled pitifully and sighed. "I have fears too, of pain, hate, rejection..." The last word sent another stab of longing throughout the elder. He couldn't retract his gaze from the hold of the blonde's. "But..." Roxas laid his head on the redhead's shoulder. "But we'll work them out together... I promise..."

Nothing was as powerful to Axel at that time than those innocent words. They were tinged with strain, regret, longing... just like his must have sounded. And he already understood those fears that that blonde had divulged from his mind.

He was so good at hiding his true intention, even from himself, that it was easy to forget that the blonde couldn't read him like he could the other way around. It was easy to hide from one's mind if their mind is constantly moving. But when one is alone...

"... Roxas?"

"Yeah?"

"... Thank you..."


End file.
